


Put Your Head On My Shoulder

by WildnessBecomesYou



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Dolly is mentioned, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Mentions of Cancer, brief mentions of the gunshot thing, cause you know...the tumor, mostly sleepy lesbians though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildnessBecomesYou/pseuds/WildnessBecomesYou
Summary: Set sometime between the loves moving to Mexico and when Betsy visits them; Mildred wakes and notices the scar from when she nearly lost Gwendolyn.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 16
Kudos: 156





	Put Your Head On My Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> I emerge like Truth coming out of the well to shame mankind, except I'm back to writing Real Gay Shit. Did not expect to fall as hard as I did for Ratched, so uh, here, have some scar fic. Enjoy!

Mildred woke to a room bathed in gentle morning light, color splashes dappling the sleeping form in front of her, sheets halfway down their ribs. 

She smiled. Just a bad dream, then. They were still in Mexico, not back at that asylum, and she was safe. 

Gwendolyn let out a short puff of air in her sleep. Her eyebrows pulled together, then relaxed back to normal, and she inhaled deeply before sighing. Mildred smiled and reached up to touch her love’s short hair where the colors from the stained glass window made it redder. 

Gwendolyn was recovering, Mildred reminded herself. She was not going to lose her Gwen. The mistletoe was working. 

And her Gwen was getting better— fewer instances of nausea, less pain, and her hair was even growing back. It seemed redder to Mildred, now, and was just long enough for Mildred to run her hands through and leave little tracks to prove she’d been there. A week ago, it had reminded Mildred of a military buzz cut overdue for a trim. 

“Much better,” Mildred murmured to herself, drawing a swirling pattern in Gwendolyn’s short hair. Gwen’s chin twitched towards Mildred’s arm, and she slid her fingers down to Gwen’s neck, placing a gentle kiss on her jaw. 

She felt Gwen’s pulse there, steady and slow. Still going. Still with her. She tipped her head forward, scooting her body to follow, resting her head against the outer curve of Gwendolyn’s shoulder. She took a deep breath to soothe herself and wrapped her arms around Gwen’s body. 

“Mmmm.” Mildred raised her head, but Gwen was still sound asleep. Mildred smiled as arms tightened around her, too, and a sleepy nuzzle brushed against her skin.

“I love you,” Mildred half-giggled, and felt that familiar bloom of warmth in her chest. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Gwendolyn’s shoulder. 

A darker spot on Gwen’s ribs popped into the corner of her eye, and she paused. She propped herself up on her left arm and brought her right hand back around Gwen’s body until her fingers reached the spot. 

It wasn’t much darker than the rest of Gwendolyn’s skin, but the near-perfect circle under her left breast was puckered slightly on the edges and sunken in the middle. The center seemed to have almost a woven quality to the skin, reminding Mildred of crocheted blankets. She held her breath as she brushed her fingers over the spot. 

Her mind began to race— Dolly, stupid foolish Dolly, throwing a gun around as if she knew how to use it; Gwendolyn bravely returning to demand the gun be put down, simultaneously assuring that idiotic girl that everything would be alright. Her calm, demanding demeanor, something Mildred found so assuring, shattered as the bullet entered her skin. 

Mildred swallowed around a thick lump in her throat. She remembered watching Gwendolyn fall, and then she remembered being by Gwendolyn’s side, holding her head, pressing against the bleeding, begging her to stay. She remembered the way Gwendolyn’s side heaved with a gasped breath, the little whines that came from her mouth. 

She remembered staring through the tiny window, immovable through Gwendolyn’s procedure. She remembered the tube in Gwen’s throat, working her lungs for her. She remembered how much she hated that shade of blue for so long. 

And then there was a hand on her cheek, thumb brushing away tears, and a voice calling “Mildred? Darling?”

She looked up to see Gwendolyn’s sleepy face, full of concern for her. She shook her head and lowered herself back down to rest her forehead against Gwen’s. “Sorry. I got caught up in—“ her breath hitched on her and she tightened her hand against Gwen’s skin. “In memories.” 

“Oh, Mildred,” Gwendolyn breathed, pressing their foreheads together for a moment. She pulled Mildred’s hand from her ribs and placed a kiss to the palm of it. Mildred closed her eyes as Gwendolyn pressed against her neck and placed a kiss on her forehead. “It’s alright, darling girl, I’m here.”

“I know,” Mildred whimpered, sinking further into her love, arms wrapping around her again. She tucked her head into the spot where Gwen’s shoulder and neck met. Her breath shuddered in as she tried to blink away tears. “Please don’t leave me.”

Gwendolyn chucked lowly, hand snaking in to tilt Mildred’s face up to look at hers. “I rather think you’ve made sure I won’t be.”

Mildred let out a short laugh through her tears. “Well, if I hadn’t—“ 

“Shush,” Gwendolyn interrupted her. “If I hadn’t been shot— which I’ll remind you again was _not_ your fault, my dear— I never would have known about that tumor. And we wouldn’t be here.” She crooked her eyebrow up at Mildred, challenging her to prove that wrong. 

“So I, for one,” Gwendolyn murmured, taking Mildred’s hand in hers and placing them both over the dimpled scar, “am grateful to this scar. Hmm?”

Mildred shook her head, wiping at her cheeks harshly. Gwendolyn’s hands stopped her and wiped more gently. “I don’t deserve you.” It came out more broken than she would have liked. 

Gwendolyn sighed, and for a very brief moment, Mildred was afraid she would agree after all this time. “I think if that were true, I would not be here.” She propped herself up on an elbow and brought Mildred’s cheek to her lips with her left hand. “But I am,” she murmured against Mildred’s skin, “so that settles it.” 

Mildred let all the air out of her lungs. She took another breath to steady herself, then turned to kiss Gwendolyn. 

“I love you,” she murmured. Another deep breath, another kiss, slow and sweet. “I love you.” 

Gwendolyn chucked softly against her. “Well, good morning.” Mildred pulled her head back to see Gwen’s eyes twinkling happily. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title from the song by Paul Anka, which I listened to while writing along with the following songs:  
> Far Away Places (Margaret Whiting); Now is the Hour (Maori Farewell Song) (Margaret Whiting); It's Been a Long, Long Time (Kitty Kallen); Time After Time (Margaret Whiting); L-O-V-E (Nat King Cole); We'll Meet Again (Vera Lynn); and Little Things Mean a Lot (Kitty Kallen).


End file.
